Not too long ago, Ben and Jerry’s opened a new front in the culture wars by temporarily renaming its “Chubby Hubby” flavor as “Hubby Hubby” and highlighting this chilling act on their website. And now they’re at it again. I’m guessing that at some point the Church will respond with its own renamed flavor, which is where your collective wisdom is required. Here is a list of Ben and Jerry’s flavors. The best I could come up with is renaming Triple Caramel Chunk as Triple Temple Dunk. But I’m sure you can do better.
Coffee, Coffee, BuzzBuzzBuzz –> Cold Caffeine BuzzBuzzBuzz
Cherry Garcia –> Toffee Monson
New York Super Fudge Chunk –> Salt Lake Lime Jello Munch
[Clearly, I’m not really very good at this]
multiple mortal pistachio
kolob krunch
Elder Berry.
Duh.
Moose Tracting.
plural berriage
competition over.
Chocolate Moriancumer
Neas Sheum Chunk
Narrow Pass Nougat Crunch
Dulce Desolation
Seon Baked (2 pts. for whoever gets this).
Warning, commenters. We require real email addresses. Please stop using fake addresses — we will have to delete your comments.
Jesus on Ice
“Returning from the dead after 2000 years”
not hubby hubby, but “wife wife wife”
“brigham berry”
“dulce deseret”
neas sheum chunk is awesome.
Eight-Cow Tracks
Jack Mormon Fruit
The Golden Dates
Chew Nibley (with little toffee hypocephaluses)
Death by Danite Chocolate
Postum
and of course
Mint Romney (plain vanilla)
pure and delightsome vanilla
No. 6: Plural berriage takes the cake! And the iced cream.
No. 12: Even for a light-hearted round of word play about fake ice cream names? You’d think a post about making up ice cream names would all but require a made-up email address.
Sweet Spearmints
Unchaste Chocolate (swirled with pulverized Oreo “dirt”)
Fasting and Praline Pecan
Nahom Nuggets
Shazer Surprise
Curelom Brownies
So far my votes are with Chew Nibley and Mint Romney. Very Clever.
New bloggernacle flavors (ice cream for intellectuals):
Academia Macadamia, Feminist Fudge (delicious… try mixing with Joanna Banana)
Three cheers for Mint Romney (plain vanilla). I actually did LOL!
More Chunky Mormonkey
Please forgive my moderated comment. I got carried away. Although I get irritated by Ben & Jerry’s antics, my intention is to listen and to give positive comments that contribute to an edifying public discourse. My sincere apologies.
Keeping with the theme of the OP, I’d have to suggest that the Church use:
Don’t Let Them Berry (with a two groom graphic overlaid by the red ‘prohibited’ sign)
I hope the OP was in good fun and did not seriously use “chilling act” to refer to the profession of a promise of lifelong commitment between two people who, possibly in the face of tremendous social hostility, develop sufficient love and devotion for each other to want to build a life together. This is whether or not you think such a profession should be admitted by civil law.
second death by chocolate
Yes, “chilling act” was just a riff on ice cream, and that’s the cold hard truth.
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS PLAIN VANILLA!!!!!!!
There. I just had to get that off my chest.
Of all the appropriate adjectives one might apply to the Delectable Bean, why, why, would anybody think to use such an erroneous one?
Great and Spacious Vainilla.
Hole In The Rocky Road
Figamy
Guard Your Virtue Guarana
Another Testa Mint
Urim and Yummim
White and Delights’mores
Choose the Light (a low-cal variety)
True, you may have a future in the ice cream business.