I’m tired of waiting around for Mormonism to develop the rich extra-biblical tradition of our Christian friends. Let’s get the ball rolling! Here are my nominations for patron saints.
John Taylor, patron saint of fugitives
Mary Elizabeth Rollins Lightner, patron saint of smugglers
J. Golden Kimball, patron saint of rationalizers
David O. McKay, patron saint of fast drivers
Spencer W. Kimball, patron saint of short people
Paul H. Dunn, patron saint of storytellers
L. Tom Perry, patron saint of pirates
Your nominations?
David A. Bednar, patron saint of home canners.
Yay! My family’s not the only one that thinks LTP would make a good pirate.
Thomas S. Monson, patron saint of storytellers
Paul H. Dunn, patron saint of truth twisters
Neal A. Maxwell, patron saint of poets
Hugh Nibley, patron saint of apologists
Brigham Young and Bruce R. McConkie, patron saints of know-it-alls
Steve Martin and Lionel Richie, patron saints of the mis-labled
Spencer W. Kimball, patron saint of Jedi Knights
How about Julie herself as patron saint of Mormon home schoolers? (Seriously).
Although we don’t actually use the patron saint label, Hugh Nibley absolutely is the patron saint of Mormon apologists, no question about it.
Maybe Lowell Bennion as patron saint of real religion.
Who would the patron saint of Mormon blogging be? We might need the patron saint of peacekeepers after that discussion…
Boyd K. Packer, patron saint of seminary teachers
Thomas S. Monson could also be the patron saint of widows.
Sheri Dew, patron saint of single or childless women.
#6 – Amen.
Ezra Taft Benson, patron saint of extreme conservatives
Harry Reid, patron saint of extreme liberals
Mitt Romney, patron saint of those who aren’t sure of their political leanings
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Don’t you have to be dead before you can be a patron saint?
Emma Smith, patron saint of those who don’t endure to the end.
Thomas S. Monson – patron saint of dated musicals.
My husband’s offering:
Thomas S. Monson, patron saint of the passive voice
P.S. Who is Andy Reid?
Harry Reid, patron saint of extreme liberals
If Reid is the best Mormondom can do insofar as guide and inspiration and source of spiritual strength to Mormonism’s “extreme liberals,” then we’re an even more lopsided church than I thought.
Emma Smith, patron saint of those who don’t endure to the end.
If God is the one who judges whether or not we “endure to the end,” and indeed gets to define what those words actually mean, then I suspect–if Joseph’s own words are any indication–that this may be only technically correct, while in actuality substatively false.
J. Golden Kimball, patron saint of rationalizers
I don’t get this one. Wasn’t J. Golden actually pretty harsh on intellectuals and the lukewarm? What he’s actually the patron saint of has to be R-rated-movie-goers, gangsta-rap-listeners, decafinated-coffee-drinkers, home-teaching-assignment-dodgers, f-word-users, and other committers of the sort of sins that can usually be fairly easily talked around in a temple recommend interview.
Yes, I know, I’m taking this too seriously. My apologies.
Andy Reid is the LDS coach of the Phil. Eagles. His kids have gotten into a lot of trouble for doing bad things. The media has been saying he is an awful father, etc etc.
Truman G. Madsen- Patron Saint of Mormon Intellectuals
Sorry, Matt W., I don’t think that Truman is a serious contender for that title. For my money, I would nominate B.H. Roberts or perhaps Orson Pratt.
Veritas,
I don’t know anything about the Andy Reid household, but I’d guess that you don’t either. But it’s really mean-spirited to make fun of a parent because two of his children have made a mess of their lives.
Perhaps we should start making fun of Lehi. Those two older sons were obvious examples of his failure as a father.
Orson Scott Card, patron saint of science fiction.
Aurelia Spencer Rogers – patron saint of children.
Wilford Woodruff – patron saint of genealogy.
Joseph Ridges – patron saint of organists
William Weeks – patron saint of architects
Martha Hughes Cannon – patron saint of women in elected office
Gordon B. Hinckley – patron saint of travelers
Russel Arben Fox, patron saint of people who take things too seriously
(My point with J. Golden is that people *now* use his behavior as a way to rationalize their own behavior.)
Ardis, I like your Pres. Hinckley one.
Nephi–patron saint of the hunt
Hagoth–patron saint of cruise ship vacationers
Elder Uchtdorf–patron saint of frequent fliers
Heber C Kimball–patron saint of courting couples
Lucy Smith–patron saint of mothers
Eliza R Snow–of authors
Heber J Grant–of athletes
Zenos–of gardeners
Moroni–of musicians
Elder Faust–of lawyers
Abinadi–of those in fires
Ammon–patron saint of missionaries
re: 19
I think Glen Larson is a runner up.
“Hagoth–patron saint of cruise ship vacationers”
I like that one.
Joseph Millet — patron saint of the average member (Says I, ‘Brother Hall, how are you out for flour?’ ‘Brother Millett, we have none.’ ‘Well, Brother Hall, there is some in that sack. I have divided it and was going to send it to you. Your children told mine that you were out.’ Brother Hall began to cry. Said he had tried others. Could not get any. Went to the cedars and prayed to the Lord and the Lord told him to go to Joseph Millett. ‘Well, Brother Hall, you needn’t bring this back if the Lord sent you for it. You don’t owe me for it.’ You can’t tell how good it made me feel to know that the Lord knew that there was such a person as Joseph Millettâ€)
Minerva Teichert — patron saint of artists
Wilford Woodruff — patron saint of journal keepers
Spencer W. Kimball — patron saint of non-lethal sling shot users
Russell M. Nelson, patron saint of physicians
Dallin Oaks, patron saint of judges
Leonard Arrington, patron saint of historians
Russel Arben Fox, patron saint of people who take things too seriously
I’d like to meet him, if only to apology for the constant embarrassement he must suffer for having to go through life with a name that is almost, but not quite, mine.
Sterling McMurrin, Patron Saint of Mormon Philosophers
James Talmage, Patron Saint of Medicinal Tobacco Users
Porter Rockwell, Patron Saint of Outlaws
Isabel the Harlot, Patron Saint of Prostitutes
Abish, Patron Saint of Faithful Servant Girls
Teancum, Patron Saint of Night Ninjas
Ishmael, Patron Saint of Fathers with too many un-wed Daughters
Coriantumr, Patron Saint of Survivors
David Whitmer, Patron Saint of Honorable Dissenters
B.H. Roberts, Patron Saint of Honest Doubters
Juanita Brooks, Patron Saint of the Faithful-But-Ostracized
William McLellin, Patron Saint of Restoration-Church Wafflers
I second (or third) the nomination of Thomas S. Monson as patron saint of storytellers OR widows or patron saint of tellers of stories about widows.
Neal A. Maxell should be Patron Saint of Users of Alliteration
Merlin Olson as Patron Saint of Hall-of-Famers (sorry, Steve Young)
Hugh Nibley as Patron Saint of Footnotes
LeGrande Richards as Patron Saint of Run-on Sentences
Alternate nomination for Patron Saint of Footnotes: J. Stapley.
Or,
Juanita Brooks, patron saint of mother who know how to be scholars
(She used to keep the iron set up in the front room so that if anyone dropped in, she could claim to be busy, shoo them off, and get back to her research.)
Howard W. Hunter as Patron Saint of Cruise Ship Musicians
Spencer W. Kimball as Patron Saint of Insurance Salesmen
Larry Miller as Patron Saint of Car Salesmen
Evan Stephens, patron saint of ward choir directors
“Neal A. Maxell should be Patron Saint of Users of Alliteration” Shouldn’t that read ‘patron saint of true but literate lovers of alliteration’?
(We’re all going to get zapped for this, you know.)
Gordon Jump as patron saint of Thanksgiving Festivities. (Long live WKRP.)
Alexander Findlay MacDonald–Patron Saint of the Mormon Colonies
Jim McMahon–Patron Saint of the 1980 Holiday Bowl
Marjorie Hinckley–Patron Saint of Exceptional Women
Joseph B. Wirthlin or David O. McKay(tie) – Patron Saint of University of Utah Football
Dan Jones, patron saint of Welsh Indians
Eugene England, patron saint of car repairmen
Clifton Jolley, patron saint of Chevy salesmen
Parley P. Pratt, patron saint of dog trainers
Elder Nelson–patron saint of doctors
#36 – Does one have to be Mormon to be a Mormon patron saint? If not –
Jim McMahon, patron saint of drunk BYU students
Wilford Woodruff – patron saint of fly fishing
Mary Taylor Schwartz – patron saint of aiders and abettors
#40, Not sure but his mother was (is?) one so I stretttttched it a bit.
Jack Dempsey — patron saint of inactive boxers
Steve Martin – patron saint of non-Mormons we wish were Mormon.
Richard Dutcher – patron saint of row-boaters
Philo T Farnsworth – Patron saint of couch potatoes
Rulon Gardner – patron saint of underdogs; also, patron saint of toes
Napoleon Dynamite – patron saint of ligers.
Orson Pratt – patron saint of philosophers
Parley Pratt – patron saint of pamphleteers
Marriner Eccles – patron saint of bankers
J. Reuben Clark – patron saint of lawyers
Enjoyed this thread….was hoping to hear T&S bloggers think up saintly patronages for each other. Any ideas on that?
I think Mark Hoffman should be the patron saint of something.
Kaimi – patron saint of cheese
Mahonri Moriancumr – patron saint of brothers
Sam Weller, patron saint of book lovers.
Brother Mac — patron saint of Suit Salesmen and Haberdashers
Ken Jennings – patron saint of all things trivial.
Arthur “Killer” Kane – patron saint of bass players.
Mick Ronson – patron saint of electric guitarists
I thought David Bednar was the patron saint of pickles and pickle eaters.
52 – Arthur “Killer” Kane is the patron saint of LSD trips from the Lord, too.
@18 – No one is making “fun” of Andy Reid. The judge already did that in open while sentencing his sons to prison.
The choice points:
“There isn’t any structure there that this court can depend upon.” (while pondering if he could even allow the sons to live in the house.)
“I’m saying this is a family in crisis.”
“It sounds more or less like a drug emporium there with the drugs all over the house.”
If there’s a silver lining, it’s that (while I was in Philadelphia the day the sentencing was handed down) I never heard anyone mention Andy Reid’s religion, just his “family values”.
(I’m not criticizing Andy Reid. Heaven knows it’s hard enough for a workaholic NFL coach who is trying to be a faithful member of the Church. And it seems pretty clear from the news stories that the boys have been addicts for a couple of years and Reid and his wife have been trying to deal with it.)
Harvey Fletcher — Patron saint of audiophiles
Ernest L. Wilkinson — Patron saint of authority figures
I really wanted to be funny but I just thought of some kind of serious ones.
Minerva Teichert – patron saint of mothers drawn to non-mothering pursuits
Ardeth G. Kapp – patron saint of teenage girls
James E. Faust – patron saint of Mormon Democrats
Patty Bartlett Sessions – patron saint of childbirth
LaVelle Edwards – patron saint of college football coaches you wish would come out of retirement
Michelle King – patron saint of tv newspeople who make you think that you know them in person
Gladys Knight – patron saint of gospel music that is not anglican
Donny Osmond – patron saint of childhood prodigies that don’t have tragic lives
Re: 59
No, if that comment speaks volumes about anything, it only speaks volumes of queno’s values (and that’s only if you judge someone’s entire life based on one comment on a blog).
Sorry, but your broad brush don’t paint.