Cornucopia

Last Meal

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So let’s just say that one day you find yourself sitting on death row and you need to pick your last meal. What would you ask for?

This post is inspired by this website, which I am not entirely sure needs to be on the Internet. All the same, it made me hungry.

Me? A Fuddrucker’s hamburger, Wendy’s French Fries, and a Coke. Molten chocolate cake for dessert.

61 comments for “Last Meal”

  1. Luau ribs, green salad, baked potato, hot white bread, and strawberry shortcake. With all the appropriate butter, jam, sour cream, whipped cream, dressing, whatever. And ice cold Utah tap water.

  5. Prime Rib (medium rare)

    Twice Baked Potato

    Whole wheat rolls

    Zuchini (cooked in butter, topped with parmesean cheese)

    Molten chocolate cake w/vanilla ice cream

    Coke

  8. Figures the website is from Texas!

    I want to say all sorts of different types of sushi, except that you can’t really eat anything else after that. So I’ll go with Chili’s Roasted Garlic Steak with Mashed Potatos. Even though I could substitute Mashed with Funeral, now that BBELL mentions it. I won’t have to eat healthy, so I’ll skip any other veggies. For desert, Cheesecake Factory’s Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake with ice cream. For a drink, if I’m on death row, I’ll have probably broken several of God’s commandments, so I would not begrudge myself of either drinking one of those frozen coffee drinks or some very sweetened alcoholic beverage.

  9. For the purposes of the question, I’ll assume that I was convicted of some truly heinous crime, such as murder, in order to get on death row in the first place. I will also assume that I was actually guilty (not always a safe assumption, on death row). Have already seared my conscience as a murderer, etc., I suppose I would have no moral hesitancy to follow the example of the fictional Hannibal Lecter, when it came to “last meal.”

  10. There are these back wrapped stuffed shrimp with some sort of carmelized dip they serve at Gaidos in Galveston,TX that are realy good. (It’s worth going to Galveston in and of itself) Maybe a Bottle of Jazz Cola or Ale-8 soda, depending on whether I am feelig nostalgic or not. A kiss from my wife for sure. Maybe the Monte Cristo sandwich they used to make in the pirates of the carribean resteraunt circa 1995 that is no longer made there. (Monte Cristos anywhere else are gross). Definitely some Cooper’s Bar-B-Q Brisket with Rudy’s Bar-B-Q sauce. Maybe some lechon baca from Cebu Philippines. Some of my wife’s sour cream coffee cake. An eclaire. A glass of fresh squeezed orange juice.

    And that just about covers all my favorite experiences with food.

    (Maybe some fried pickles from Katz’ deli in Austin, for Julie?)

  12. Nick – I don’t remember him having a “last meal”. Even if I was a serial murderer, I don’t think my last request would be for human food. (yes, pun intended!)

  13. Matt W, you have almost convinced me to change my last meal choice. There is a bbq restaurant in Driftwood, just outside of Austin, called the Salt Lick. AWESOME bbq! I guess I’ll pull a Robert Frost-

    But if it had to perish twice…

    THE SALT LICK!!

    Sausage, Pork Ribs, Beef Brisket, Turkey, Chicken, beans, bread and a coke.

    In case the Salk Lick was not open, I would accept the same food from Don’s BBQ in Austin.

  14. Jacob M, if you were a serial murderer, wouldn’t you request “cereal” as a last meal?

  15. Catered in DiMassi’s Mediterranean Buffett in Houston, TX consisting of lamb shanks, grilled eggplant, Greek salad, tabouli, dolma, pilaf, pita bread with halal beef/hummus/baba ghanoush, baklava, and rose drink.

  16. No, because none of them have human figurines! Even though Count Chocula would be a pretty good desert. And it does have Frankenstein’s head as one of the marshmellows, at least if I remember correctly. Double points!

  18. Fascinating. It’s noteworthy that so many of the prisoners decided to splurge on pure junk-food. Frankly, I don’t see how they could enjoy the food. I’m with Geoff J. in comment (4) in that I would not have much of an appetite. Perhaps it reveals something about the mental states of these prisoners that so many of them could at least attempt to indulge in gratifying foods right before they were about to be executed.

    I think the best requests were

    1. One pot of coffee. Straight up, nothing else. (He must have been a little jittery during his execution).

    2. Cool Whip and two cherries. Nothing else.

  19. I just noted this disclaimer at the top of the page:

    “* The final meal requested may not reflect the actual final meal served.”

    I also noticed that one prisoner suggested a bag of Jolly Ranchers, and nothing else. What a way to go out.

  22. Prime Rib Oskar (medium) from Whitehouse Inn (Cinicnnati)

    Barbecue from 127 Bar & Grill (Dothan, AL)

    Hot Wheat Bread individual loaf and apple juice (Der Dutchman – Ohio)

    Lime Rickey (Bence Pharmacy – closed – Cambridge, MA)

    my wife’s fudge brownies

    If I wanted to die before the execution, Burger King’s monster whatever-it’s-called breakfast sandwhich that I would not eat otherwise

  23. Too bad they retired Ol’ Sparky, or you could eat, and then become, Texas barbecue.

    Some of those guys either hoped to delay the execution by eating for a long time–maybe long enough to get that phone call from the Governor, or else they hoped to die of indigestion and cheat the hangman.

  24. I’m probably a bad person, but I’m having a hard time taking the question seriously. I just keep thinking my own response would be,

    1 apple pie with hidden file inside
    1 loaf of bread from Guido’s Mafia Bakery (pistol-inside version)
    A dozen california rolls, garnished with live 9mm ammunition
    Ten chocolate-covered hand grenades . . .

  25. Before reading this, I was under the impression that most of the bloggernacle denizens were against torture. This topic should have been posted in the late afternoon – not just before lunch. Such cruelty!

    Last meal? Chicken Fried Steak. No, that’ll be my next meal!!!!

  27. Oh great Julie, now I’m going to obsess about this question all stinkin’ day! Way to go ;). I’ll come up with actual food later. For now:

    1. If I’m guilty: I’d be fasting and begging God’s forgiveness, as well as hoping whoever I killed wasn’t the person assigned to retrieve and haul me to the other side.
    2. If I’m innocent: a very large bag of valium. They can freaking CARRY me to the gas chamber, thank you.

  29. I don’t know that I can imagine death row. But I can invision what favorite meal I would choose as my last: A tuna fish sandwich (made with albacore tuna packed in water) with green onions, sweet relish and a crisp piece of lettuce on some seedy, whole wheat bread. On the side, some crisp carrots and apple slices. The beverage would be an icy glass of skim milk. For dessert I’d want a still warm from the oven slice of my Cocoa Apple cake. It’s all heavenly food so I’d just be preparing myself for the eternal feasting awaiting me on the other side.

  30. Some kind of asian-style barbeque ribs would be pretty hard to beat. I can think of so many other things I enjoy eating though …

  31. Mangoes, fixed in every way imaginable. I’m allergic, but I love them. If it’s my last meal, the allergy won’t matter…

  32. Jones – a tuna fish sandwich? Good heavens lad, are you still in college? Albacore is the way to go if you have to do tuna fish, but you’re about to face death. Forget about the student loans and order some beef.

  33. Under these circumstances, I remember eating a meal of Fish and Chips at a place called the Dutch Cup in Astoria, Oregon several years back. It was nasty, greasy, tasteless, and made me feel sick to my stomach. Or the bento box of sushi I had one year in Bellevue, WA for lunch as I was developing a case of stomach flu. A meal like that would make me look forward to what comes next!

  34. #12 Jacob:
    Of course you’re right. The character lives on. I wasn’t saying that he’d had a “last meal.” I was just referring to his dining habits as “example.” ;-)

  35. Oh yeah, and I’d want to watch the movie “Beaches” while I ate. I’d really be ready then.

  37. Nick beat me to the punch:

    Assuming I’m guilty (and therefore have lost my moral compass), I’d have the warden and his family roasted just-so, served with a side of tom yom goom. I’d have the soup first and take the rest to go.

    Assuming I’m innocent, I’d just have the tom yom goom.

    I’d hate to feel all bloated either way.

    : )

  38. LOL! Thank you, Silus, for not letting me be the only twisted soul on this thread! :-)

  39. I’ll save the taxpayers some money with a simple, inexpensive order:

    In-N-Out Burger Double-double with fries.

    For those of you east of California you are missing out on the finest burgers $5 can buy.

  40. Roulladen, Rotkohl, and Klösse — my wife’s gotten really good at this — and a bottle of Cold Duck (sparkling whatever-that-is) to drink. Plus her orange-marmalade rolls. Mmm…to die for…

    Jon

  43. If God gives you a pass on the WOW right before death, I’ll take the largest Mocha ever made along with 12 Coffee Crisp candy bars (oh, I already eat the bars. Ahem.)

    My husband’s Korean bbq for dinner and his Thai sweet cream rice with mango for dessert. With a very large, exceedingly fresh Washington apple on the side.

    But I’d still want the Valium.

  44. Adam:Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

  46. I find it interesting that the first entry requests a bunch of junk and then Diet Coke to wash it down. Diet Coke? You are about to die man, there couldn’t be a better time to go for the real deal.

  49. i’d request my mom’s swiss steak, potatoes, and corn, but i don’t think she’ll feel much like cooking. so, filet served ruth’s chris style with lots of butter. garlic mashed potatoes. broccoli au gratin. since you’re already there, throw in a ruth’s chris apple tart, no ice cream. or in-n-out… double-double spread only with animal fries. either way, lots of cold water.

    my first thought was that i’d like something alcoholic, but i’d probably get too emotional.

  50. I love it how all of the Bloggernacle commenters on this thread are listing high-brow, liberal Thai gourmet food, etc. while the actual prisoners ordered straight-up trailer-park junk food.

    Sonny (38), I live east of California and I eat at In-N-Out Burger every now and then… in Chandler, Arizona where I live. There are two of them in Chandler, one in Tempe, one in Mesa, one in Scottsdale, and at least two in Phoenix.

  52. California Condor,

    You are right, there are a few outside the state, in AZ where you live and I think there are 1 or 2 in Las Vegas as well.

    “..while the actual prisoners ordered straight-up trailer-park junk food.”

    Well, I work with parolees so maybe that is why I have such a love for burgers, if you want to clasify burgers as junk food that is.

  53. #49 – “while the actual prisoners ordered straight-up trailer-park junk food”

    Does any one know what the budget is for a last meal on death row or who prepares it? Can you really have any meal you want from anywhere you want? You know, although I like gourmet food as much as the next snob, or mom’s thanksgiving dinner as much as the next momma’s boy, if the prison cafeteria chef, the same person who prepared my stale meals for the last 10 years, is the person preparing my last meal, I might just order some fast junky food instead. At least I’d be guaranteed an excellent junk-food meal instead of a so-so gourmet meal.

    My guess is that most people getting their last meal, whether on death row, in a nursing home, on a deserted island, etc., don’t have that many options.

  54. I just lost my appetite. Read some of the offenses committed by those criminals on the website listed above and you might too.

  55. My wife’s Roast Beef, Rice, Mixed Veggies, Gravy, Crescent Rolles, and topped off with her Magnificent Deep Dish Pumpkin Pie. Oh, wait, that is what we will be having this Conference Sunday–no need to go to Death Row. Phew!

  56. Philly Cheese Steak, from Philly. (A cheese steak from anywhere else is just a steak sandwich, by the way–don’t let them fool you).

  57. Funny thread. It illustrates how little eating has to do with nourishment. Since diabetes a few years ago forced me to develop a sometimes severe detachment from the emotional and social aspects of eating, they have come to seem increasingly weird to me. Not that I don’t miss them. . .

    It’s hard to imagine being interested in food in those circumstance. . .

  58. I don’t think I could eat.

    I’m with the people who liked the guy who ordered a pot of coffee. “Perks you up as it calms you down!”

    If I did eat, I’d probably want something like pizza, fresh peaches and magoes, greek yogurt and honey, and some red velvet cake, and ice cold milk.

    Janet, I think the last time in the world I wanted to break the WoW would be right before I died. No time to repent! :-)

  59. mlu, diabetes is making me unhook from all the social bonding aspects of food entirely, and it’s so weird! In my office at least 6 times a week there is some delicious carb-laden treat brought in. Meetings feed us doughnuts and sweet rolls. The health conscious ones have bagels and fruit. Visiting teachers bring cake and sweet breads. When they find out I can’t eat goodies they bring granola bars and fruit that I can’t eat either. Everyone is positive that I must be mistaken because they know fruit is good for you. It makes it really hard. My refusal to eat with people, or to eat the treats they bring me, comes across as a slight. It’s really hard. I can’t take insulin so my only way to survive is to eat as few grams of carb as possible. I wish I could come up with some substitute activity that would let me bond with people besides sharing carb-heavy foods.

  60. Well, divorcing it from the idea of the circumstances (say, change it to “there’s an asteroid coming and you have twelve hours’ notice, and you just went shopping for everything you like in anticipation of, say, six weeks without access to a grocery store”) and I’d have tostadas, cooked my way, and an effectively infinite supply (~360 fl. oz. each) of Barq’s root beer, chocolate milk, apple juice, and Dr. Pepper. And twenty ripe tomatoes to eat raw, with salt. Ooh, and apple sauce. And if there’s time, and I’m not so stuffed I fall asleep, then an assortment of cakes and pies.

    If I got hungry again before the sky turned all dark and ominous, I’d cook a steak and have it with a salad and mashed potatoes.

    I’m not sure there’s anything particularly creepy or disturbing about focusing on physical sensation mere hours before you know that stuff will be over for you for an indefinite period of time. But then, I also don’t see what’s so wrong or tacky about having a big meal before fast Sunday starts, so.

  61. I would take egg soup, fried rice, fish in black bean sauce, lobster, tuna sushi, stir fried beef (chinese way), tea, Korean BBQ (like the ones you cook yourself), hot pot and taiyaki

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