Cornucopia

What the Smith Boys Said This Year

by  •  • 19 Comments

For previous installments, see here and here. Simon turned eight, Nathan turned five, and Truman turned two this year.

December 4th 2005
Nathan: “I picked pecans today. I call them attention bombs because I throw them at people’s heads to get their attention.”

December 19th, 2005
Nathan: “If I were a pharaoh, my symbol would be a Lincoln Log and a banana.”

December 24th, 2005
Nathan, when Grandpa Bob announced that he was going to watch football: “You can’t watch football! We’re only allowed one hour of TV each day and you can’t waste it on football.”

January 3rd, 2006:
Nathan: “Why do they put cool stuff in magazines to make kids want to buy it? They’re going to make me buy a pocket knife!”

January 19th, 2006:
Simon, on seeing his new math book: “I am so doomed.”

February 13th, 2006:
Truman said his first word: “Daddy!”

February 24th, 2006
Nathan: “Dad, Simon and I have been talking. You know how you get to stay up late? Well, we don’t think that’s really fair.”

February 28th, 2006:
Simon: “How come it is called Genesis if there is no one named Genesis in it?”

February 24th, 2006:
Nathan: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a medieval guy. I’m going to ride a horse and tell people, ‘the British are coming!’ and they’ll put on their armor for nothing. But I won’t get smallpox.”

March 16th, 2006
Nathan: “How do animals get married?”

April 3rd, 2006
Julie discovers one M & M in each of Truman’s ears.

April 19th, 2006
Nathan: “Mom, when will you be as tall as Dad?”

April 20th, 2006
Nathan asked if Mao Tse Tung is in hell and if taxes are bad in France.

April 24th, 2006
Nathan: “Mom, are you growing lower or are we growing higher?”

April 25th, 2006
Nathan: “Can I arrange the pillows on your bed? I know how they should go.”
Julie: “Sure.”
Nathan: “What does the blue one in the middle stand for?”

April 26th, 2006
Nathan, on being presented with a math lesson: “I’m four years old! I don’t want shapes for math! I’m ready for numbers!”

April 29th, 2006
Scene: One hour past bedtime.
Nathan (enters stage left): “Tell Simon that America is part of Texas!”
Julie: “Sweetie, Texas is part of America. It is one of the states. We’ll look at the map in the morning.”
Nathan exits, stage left.
Simon enters, stage left: “In what way is Africa a part of America?”
Julie: “It isn’t.”
Simon (fighting tears): “Mama mia! Nathan said you said it was!”
Simon exits, stage left.
(Muffled sounds of arguing from the bedroom.)

April 30th, 2006
Nathan: “Mom, I’m wondering how I can reward you for allowing us to have extra time on the computer.”

June 18th, 2006
Nathan, on Father’s Day: “Do you want me to earn the money today instead of you?”

June 23rd, 2006
Nathan, looking at the ad at Chik-fil-a: “So this chicken is made out of cows?”

July 4th, 2006
Simon: “Mom, can I have a piece of bread with something spread on it?”
Julie: “Sure.”
A few minutes later, Julie notices Simon spreading mountains of hot fudge sauce on bread.
Simon, triumphantly: “You really need to be more careful about loopholes, Mom.”

August 4th, 2006
Nathan: “When I get older, I am going to write embarrassing things all over my body.”

August 11th, 2006
Nathan: “Mom, why did God create fire ants?”
Simon asks for some potholders for dinner. (He meant potstickers.)

August 17th, 2006
Julie: “How did you like sleeping in that big bunk bed?”
Nathan: “It was ugly. (pause) I just wanted to see the look on your face when I said that.”

August 25th, 2006
Nathan: “Mom, would you be interested in a Toys R Us credit card?”

August 29th, 2006
Nathan interrupted the exterminator to tell him that we were having a big problem with ants under the kitchen sink. The poor guy investigates and is momentarily fooled by the realistic ant stickers Nathan had put under the sink.

September 18th, 2006
Nathan, on Truman: “I guess he has a whining virus.”

October 3rd, 2006
Nathan: “Mom, I think Truman is disappointed because he can’t hypnotize you.”

October 9th, 2006
Nathan: “Mom, please don’t disturb me because I am watching the Star Wars movie in my head.”

October 15th, 2006
Nathan: “Dad, someday I’ll show you how to eat properly.”

October 30th, 2006
Simon: “It’s a good thing there weren’t pumpkin trees or Isaac Newton would have had a broken skull.”

November 7th:
Truman watches, fascinated, as Simon and Nathan take their turns in the dentist’s chair. As Nathan gets down, he says “Tru turn! Tru turn!” The hygienist takes pity on him for being so cute and gives him a turn in the chair and checks his teeth.

November 13th, 2006
Truman, tugging on his head: “Head off! Head off!”
Julie: “Honey, heads don’t come off.”
Simon: “What about Mary Queen of Scots?”

November 15th, 2006
Nathan: “Mom! I have an idea and if it works, then Dad won’t have to go to work anymore! We can steal from the tooth fairy! Did you know she has over ten thousand bucks? I’ll have to break her wings first so she can’t get away.”

19 comments for “What the Smith Boys Said This Year”

  1. Darling! Evidence of bright kids and good parents.
    I enjoy keeping similar journals for my kids–a recent fun one: Nathaniel, age 4: “Bad guys wear Choose the Wrong rings.”

  4. Good for you for keeping track of these things–which will be so fun for your whole family to read later. My grandma was meticulous about writing down all of the cute things her children said, and it is a precious record today. Grandma’s phrase, repeated to her daughters and granddaughters time and again, was, “Write it down, Mommy.” I missed so many of the cute phrases of my kids because I didn’t write them down. I can just imagine what pictures might accompany these sayings! Thanks for sharing!

  6. Ah, another installment! Thanks. Some day I’ll have to make a pilgrammage to Austin meet your sons. I consider them the unofficial mascots of the Bloggernacle.

  9. I always love these, Julie. Thanks for this year’s installment. I stole your idea and will send out my 3rd Christmas letter with kids’ quotes this year. My 6-year-old Sam sounds like he ought to get together with your Nathan. Our best ones for the year:

    When we got close to the end the Book of Mormon, Sam read Moroni 8:11, “And little children need no repentance, neither baptism.” He asked, “Mom, is that Satan talking?”

    Sam: “General conference? Will there be a general there? No? Then why do they call it General Conference?”

    Sam: “Does my [elementary] school have a law school?”

    One day when we drove past the Provo temple, my 4-year-old girl pointed and said, “Birthday cake!”

  10. Loved these. Good for you Julie in writing them down. Here are two memorible lines from our past.

    First from our daughter when she was 3-4 years old. I had called her my “sunshine” and she looked at me incredulously and said she wasn’t my “sonshine” she was my “daughtershine”. And so she has remained, now and forever.

    The second happened when our oldest grandchild was four. His parents had gone to Disneyland and somehow we thought they had also taken the children. My husband asked Nathan how he had liked Disneyland and Nathan replied in a pouty voice, “I didn’t get to go.” To which Grandpa brightly replied, “Well, maybe Grandpa will have to take you.” Nathan immediately replied, “Write it down, Grandpa, write it down.” As we got in the car I laughed and said, “That one remark will cost us thousands of dollars.” And it has. We have now worked our way through more than half the grandkids on Disneyland trips.

  11. i reread the previous installments and am a bit slaphappy now, tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks. the ants under the sink is HILARIOUS! i also loved “loopholes” and “it was ugly.” ah, your boys sound so fun!

    my three are all of the female variety and are still very young. i jokingly told the two year old yesterday that she needed to make good choices or i would bite her ears off. the three year old’s face lit up and she said, “and then you wouldn’t have to listen!”

    our christmas “letter” is a sheet of paper with various photos from the happenings of the year. easier and less pretentious than our uncle’s obnoxious and self-absorbed brag sheet. i love your idea, though! i may have to combine the two!

  12. ah! i sometimes email funny stuff to my mom and found this in my “sent” box. this is from the freshly turned three year old, after observing her grandmother getting something down from a shelf:

    taís’ daddy is uncle rafa. uncle rafa is really, really taller (he’s 6’11”). (holds fingers in pincer grasp) but nannie is smaller (5’1″). nannie is really, really little because nannie can’t reach. nannie needs to get hangers to get things down and to reach up real higher.

    possibly only funny if you’ve seen the two of them actually stand side by side.

  13. Julie: “Honey, heads don’t come off.”
    Simon: “What about Mary Queen of Scots?”

    There is a kid just like that in my Primary class. Though his family’s probably going to be in a different ward after tomorrow’s reorganization… sigh.

    It’s stuff like this that makes me wonder how any of my friends could not want kids (usually, the answer is something along the lines of “they had to live with all of their younger siblings and have had quite enough, thank you.”)

  14. Great stuff Julie. I’ll have to start writing down the grandkids’ lines, since all the children are too old to say anything very interesting.

    One from the olden days:

    A few days after Ronald Reagan crushed Walter Mondale in the 1984 presidential election (and all mention of Mondale disappeared from the news), our five-year-old daughter asked:

    “Did Mondale die?”

  15. Can I adopt Nathan? The Lincoln Log and Banana quote really got me!

    Thanks for inspiring me to write down all those great things my 5 & 7 year old say. New Year’s Resolution – to write them down!

  16. My kids are all little lawyers, especially 6 year old Ben.
    Me: “Stop hitting your sister with that stick!”
    Ben: “Can I hit her with *this* stick?”

    One time I told him “Stop doing that or I’ll give you a spanking.” He thought about it for a second, made his choice between the two options and bent over. A spanking seemed like a small price indeed for not having to stop doing it!

  19. These were fun. Our family makes a calendar each year with pictures of the grandkids, and funny quotes or incidents sprinkled throughout. Lately I’ve been better about keeping track as we go through the year so that I’ll have lots to choose from for the calendar.

    At our house 2 year old Mark keeps us laughing with what he says and what is said about him (my husband: “I think Mark got up on the wrong side of the month”), but the teenagers are also good for some memorable lines. From my 12 year old:
    “you notice me closing my eyes so you wouldn’t see me rolling them.”

Comments are closed.