How about lyrics which folks (especially children) often mis-hear?
My mother was terribly ashamed of her parents when she saw that cherries were included for Sunday lunch, since they had just sung, “Cherries hurt you, cherries hurt you…” (Cherish virtue…)
Or how about “A Pup in the sky” (Up Up in the Sky, where the little birds fly)
Or “In my leafy garden, the flowers are naughty” (nodding)
Of course, we’ve already modified the most common one: “Yoo hoo unto Jesus! Yoo hoo unto Jesus! Yoo hoo unto Jesuss!”, which only those of us over 35 will remember, since it changed in 1985 to “Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior for refuge do come.” (“How Firm a Foundation”)
Any others?
I still sing “you who unto Jesus” whenever we sing that hymn. It just sounds better.
Mine was “By this ‘shallmenno’ ye are my disciples.”
a random John heard Costanza’s pet line as a commercial advertisement: “buy this shelmeno” — see the thread “here
Okay, so I don’t have links figured out yet. The long way:
http://www.mormonmentality.org/2006/10/09/whooosh-primary-songs-went-right-over-my-head.htm
Hope of Israel: “Vanquish every soul today.”
I used to think a “shalmento” was some kind of special covenant or symbol associated with the commandment to “love one another” until I was about 13.
“Little purple panties dressed in yellow gold.”
How about “How on a mountain top a badger bit a squirrel” instead of “A banner is unfurled”.
“Come, come ye Saints, no toilet paper here.”
For some reason, I thought that the song went,
“So, little children, bless you and die.”
And I was really worried about the poor little children who were blessing us and then dying. That was clearly the motivation to “try to be like him, try, try, try,” because if I didn’t, I would feel awfully guilty about those poor dying little children.
Wow Kiami, that’s dark. It reminds me of Grimm’s fairy tales–the original scary ones.
How about “Then wake up, and do something more than dream of your mansionS above.” People get greedy, cuz the hymn only has one mansion, not multiple.
I think it’s funny that as often as we sing “Called to Serve”, people keep having trouble with a certain line. Every single time, when it comes around to “Praises unto him we bring” you’ll get half the congregation singing “Praises unto him we sing”. And if we’re lucky, they’ll start to sing “sing”, hear that half the congregation is making a “br” sound, and change mid-stream, “Praises unto him we ss—BRing!” Or better yet, the half of the congregation that was right the first time second-guesses itself when they hear the other half making an “s” sound, and we get “br—Sing!” Maybe we should realize we don’t have it memorized pat after all, and glance down at the hymnal at that point. (And yes, I’ll admit to consulting said hymnal before hitting the Submit Comment button, just in case…)
Oh, and everyone also seems to think the “e’er” in the first verse is “heir”, but those ARE homophones, so I forgive them.
I don’t have any of these; my mom was a real “Teach Your Baby How To Read” parent and I didn’t attend Primary often enough to actually learn any songs by singing them (versus looking in the Children’s Songbook or Hymnal as an adult.)
However, I am continually impressed and disturbed by the results of asking my CTR-8s what the words of a scripture or hymn mean. I don’t think they’ve gotten it right more than once out of three or four times, even when they know what most of the words mean AND I have it written on the board.
How about “I belong to the church of cheese and rice” or “follow the prophet, he goes away” or “Lamanites met others who were sneaking liberty”, or my all time favorite of the kid drawing the nativity with Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus and a very round fellow standing close by – who?- why “round John Virgin” of course.
What is with the church changing lyrics? As a convert I have never understood why “Joy to the World” and “How Great Thou Art” weren’t good enough…I still sing them in the original…
“Round John Virgin, mother and child”
“We’ll sing all Hell to Jesus’ Name”
“no burning bush on cyanide”
“let no burden of disgression”
I always thought it was “Lamanites met others who were sinking liberty” and it kinda fits, too, considering what my ancestors did to said Lamanites….
Actually, Kaimi, your rendering of the “So little children, let’s you and I . . .” avoids that ghastly grammatical error that the author chose for the sake of the rhyme. (Anybody say “let I try to be like him”?)
The easy solution to the “Called to Serve” problems raised by MBD and the “Choose the Right” (in which, by the way, the error sung by many suggests that we should not let discretion affect us when we’re out making decisions) is to relegate both of them to the “list of things we never sing.”
(Some may feel that we should sing all the pieces in the hymnbook, since they wouldn’t be there if the brethern [sic] didn’t intend for us to sing them. I’ll accept that, but only if you sing “Go, Ye Messengers of Glory” as often as “Called to Serve”, or “With All the Power of Heart and Tongue” as often as “Choose the Wright” and so on.)
And, by the way, I hope you all enjoy singing:
His light should there
Attract the gays
Of all the world
In latter days.
“Where can I turn for peace? Where is my Shoe Lace?”
“perish virtue, perish virtue…”
“A Marmon Boy, a Marmon boy, I am a Marmon Boy” – as heard when visiting Idaho in my youth.
Ya’ll already got most of mine. But here are a couple:
I am a child of God and he has sent me here.
Has given me an earthly home with parents kind of queer.
Ere you left your room this morning, did you think to spray?
Of death, of hell, or of the gravy.
Not a hymn, but heard it on my mission in Chile:
“Huevos y Aceite” (in an American Spanish accent impersonating and making sense of Fredy Mercury’s “We’re not gonna take it”).
What, nobody’s yet mentioned “…has given me an earthly home, with parents kind of weird…”?
Through a still, small voice, the Spirit speaks to me
To guide me, to save me, from the evil ivory sea
(I always imagined drowning in an ocean of elephant tusks)
When I was young, I would always sing the hymn, \”Let Us All Press On,\” except for the chorus, I would sing…\”Fear not, though the enemy be right…..\”
whoops!!
Then in MIA there was the “Vulture Song”: “Carrion, carrion, carrion….”
rice, rice and gravy…
Helaman only had one army…
An army of one.