Gizoogling Times and Seasons

Do you ever find yourself wondering, “whizzay is a Proclamizzles anyway?” Did you ever want to read lines like “England took tha position that tha marriage relatizzles in tha Celestial Kingdom wizzle be monogizzle not polygizzles”? Or want to hear Nate Oman wax eloquent “In Memory of tha Metaphysizzle Elda”? You’re in luck.

A new web site called Gizoogle will “translate” any web page into that “izzle” language used by rappers like Snoop Dogg. I ran a translation on T & S and it created some very funny lines. I already mentioned some of the funny shorter lines; some longer translations include:

Proxy Baptiz’n Holocaust Victims = Fanatizzles?
by Russell Arben Fox
That’s tha implication of this angry piece by David Velleman, a philosophy professor at tha University of Michigan. Read’n ’bout tha activities of certain evangizzles groups ta proselytize in tha wakes of tha tsunami catatrosphe (some of which, I agree, is more T-H-to-tha-izzan a shawty insensizzle Velleman reflects upon his discovizzles over a decade ago, thizzat his long-dead family (Dutch Jews, all) had been subject ta some proxy straight trippin’ themselves aww nah:

Self-Aware Frontin’?
by Kaimi Rappa
There’s a new meme in tha bloggernizzle n it’s self-awarizzles. The folks over at Various Stages is discuss’n tha concept of self-conscizzles (wit some input fizzle itinerant philosopha) . Yippie yo, you can’t see my flow. Meanwhile, Rappa is wonder’n (in between some scandalous confessions ’bout kiss’n) exactly how n why we construct our own bloggernacle identities n s**t. Finally, Geoff has a heartfelt post assert’n a claim wit W-H-to-tha-izzich I wholeheartedly agree: God reads tha bloggernacle .

Mind-blowing stuff, definitely. Or at least likely to get a laugh. If you’re interested in more, you may want to check out Times and Seasons, the Gizoogle version.

(Hat tip: Aimee).

NOTE: The translation program does use some colorful language here and there. You are warned.

16 comments for “Gizoogling Times and Seasons

  1. (And if you’re interested in other bloggernacle sites, don’t forget to check out:

    Millennial S-T-to-tha-izzar
    The Millennial Stizzar is an LDS group bizzy featur’n a lively cizzay of contribut’n killa n cutt’n-edge blog technology n innovation . One, two three and to tha four.

    The blurb on BCC, unfortunately, isn’t one we can reprint on a family site . . .

  2. Steve Evans just pointed out that you shouldn’t skimp on the bios.

    Adam’s Gizoogle bio:
    Greg’s Gizoogle bio:
    My own Gizoogle bio:

    and so forth.

    (And don’t forget Steve’s profile either, at ).

  3. Does it work backwards? If you run a rapper through the machine does he come out sounding like Wm. Safire?

    The Gizoogle translation of T&S brought to mind the effect of reading the great Herbert Kornfeld at The Onion.

  4. Hi, Kaimi-

    I just found this website a few days ago and really enjoy your posts, and I’m wondering how you (and Nathan Oman) find the time to write such incisive, thought-provoking comments and blogs while working at large law firms. Don’t they have billable hour requirements?

  5. Kaimi: it sounds like Nate and Arty are talking circles around each other…. Spaulding… was discredited in academic circles pre-Brodie.

    Actually, I am not just talking about non-Academic opinion. Statements such as yours about Spaulding’s pre-Brodie sway in academia are demonstrably false. This was one of my main points, and I believe it is established by my citations. The Spaulding theory did indeed dominate academia before Brodie, which is to say that Nate’s estimation of Brodie in comments #79 and #93 is altogether incorrect.

    Kaimi: Anyway, Brodie just replaced Joseph-Smith-as-Spaulding-influenced-moron in the popular consciousness with Joseph-Smith-as-self-deluded-very-smart-fraud, which isn’t all that much of an improvement, from a member’s point of view

    I beg to differ: It is a tremendous improvement. Indeed, it’s about as much as we can reasonably expect from most non-believers. And Mormon’s know this. They are generally quite willing to bask in Bloom’s characterization of Joseph as a religious genius, although Bloom is no believer. It’s just that many Mormons remain hung up and defensive (I’ve stopped saying small minded, since Geoff has convinced me that this is unduly mean) about Brodie, and they can’t seem to see the forest for the trees. This may well be due to the insider-outsider thing that Nate talks about.

    Christian Y. Cardall: Perhaps when it comes to history at least, instead of arguing about Brodie and Nibley we could be praising Shipps (who hasn’t been mentioned yet), and also–specially for believers interested in engaging the academy at large–Bushman and Givens.

    More than mention, I actually quote Shipps in my comment #100, though I appear to have done the same violence to her name that danithew did to Foucault’s. And thanks for the Bushman quote. I’d like to have sited that myself to bolster my argument, but alas, I checked Bushman’s book out of (and returned it to) a public library.

  6. I saw this site a while ago–when fark, or some other internet wierdness clearing house, linked to it–and used, and their case study, the -izzled version of

    I felt pangs of remorse for laughing so hard.

    I tried to regain the spirit by reading my scrizzas, then I knelt down on my knizzles and repizzled for my sizzins…

  7. Here’s an excerpt from an LA Times report on today’s Supreme Court oral argument:

    “…Erwin Chemerizzles, a Duke law schoo` professor, told tha justices so bow down to the bow wow.

    What’s wrizzay wit that? asked Justice Antonin Scalia. “It is a symbol tizzle tha government derives its authority from God. It sez our laws is derived frizzay God. And that’s what tha vast majority of tha American thugz believe.”

  8. When I tried out my blog, “God” became “tha Gangsta where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin’.” And “noble and great” from Abraham 3:22 became “noble and bootylicious.”


    “I felt pangs of remorse for laughing so hard.”


    H-dogg aka Killa P. aka H-to-tha-izzeatha in the BLOGGERNIZZLE

  9. Funny, Kaimi, except that my server at work blocked the URL: “The site you have attempted to reach is considered to be inappropriate for access using XXXXXXX computer resources.

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