Cornucopia, News and Politics

The Senate Sits in Solemn Session and Considers the Questions Facing the Nation

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This afternoon, one of my secret contacts on Capitol Hill (secret because he likes his current job and doesn’t want to lose it and return to K street) sent me the following message. I think it speaks for itself:

Moments ago, I received official word from the Senate cloakroom, that the Senate Majority Leader is seeking unanimous consent to call up and pass S. Res. 452, “designating December 13, 2004, as ‘National Day of the Horse,’ and encouraging the people of the United States to be mindful of the contribution of horses to the economy, history, and character of the United States.�

In the event any of you are inclined to accuse those of us here at the United States Senate of being afraid to tackle head-on the pressing, weighty issues of our day, bite your tongue.

All I can say, is that it is about time.

17 comments for “The Senate Sits in Solemn Session and Considers the Questions Facing the Nation”

  1. I, for one, am horribly offended that they have decided to honor the horse. Horses release far too much methane gas into the air, harming the environment. Furthermore, horses are the beasts responsible for carrying whites throughout the New World, allowing them to defeat Native Americans and spread disease. More recently, horses have been used to advertise alcoholic beverages such as beer. And let’s not even get into the whole Book of Mormon controversy over horses in America.

    I hope everyone will join me in protesting the day of the Horse. I know on December 13, 2004, I will avoid riding horses and all horse products. I will boycott any television shows glamorizing horses. If we unite, we can send a message to our leaders in Washington.

  2. Funny, I always thought of December 13 as the “Day of the Whors.” Well, come to think of it … every Thursday is day of whors for some of us. Each and every Tuesday, by contrast, is my personal Day of the Sluts.

    Aaron B

  3. After the election, the Senators have political capital and now they’re going to spend it.

  4. I’m all for the Senate doing anything that will distract them from messing things up. We should Constitutionally require them to declare every day of the year a different special day, and then start with a fresh slate each year.

  5. John, you’re nothing but a rabid anti-horseite.

    California again leads the nation in its progressive spirit. It established December 13 as the Day of Horse back in 2002. It’s about time the nation caught up.

    ACR 166, Nation. Day of the Horse.

    This measure would designate the 2nd Saturday of every December as the Day of the Horse.

    WHEREAS, The horse is a living link to the heritage and history of the State of California and the United States of America; and

    WHEREAS, Without horses, the economy, history, and character of the State of California and the United States of America would be profoundly different; and

    WHEREAS, The presence of the horse continues to permeate our society from movie screens to open land to our own backyards; and

    WHEREAS, Horses are a vital part of our collective experience and, as such, deserve our protection and compassion; and

    WHEREAS, With increasing pressure from modern society, all horses, wild and domestic, rely on humans for adequate food, water, and shelter; and

    WHEREAS, Today, horses play a vital role in the economy of the State of California and the United States of America; and

    WHEREAS, The Congressional Horse Caucus estimates the horse industry contributes well over $100 billion to the American economy annually; and

    WHEREAS, The University of California, Davis, reports that California equine activities support between 300,000 and 1 million horses; and

    WHEREAS, The second Saturday in December should be specially set aside as the Day of the Horse to encourage all citizens to be mindful of the welfare of the horse and its contribution to our economy,
    heritage, and history; now, therefore, be it

    Resolved by the Assembly of the State of California, the Senate thereof concurring, That the Legislature of the State of California hereby proclaims the second Saturday of every December, to be the Day of the Horse in the State of California, and calls upon all citizens to be mindful of the welfare of the horse and to recognize and appreciate the role of the horse in our history, heritage, and economy.

  6. I think we need more texts about the Law of the Horse. What do you think, Nate? Can we put a casebook together on it?

  9. Ah, jeez, first Blake Ostler say his rant against Sunstone was a parody of Mormon Alliance & now this on the 2002 Proclamation of the Cal. Legis. in favor of Equine Contributions.

    I don’t know who to believe any more.

  12. Now I finally have a topic for my law review note. “Substantive Due Process and Horses Day: The Penumbra and the Ponies.

  14. I guess a lame joke could be made about the horse asses finally recognizing the rest of the body.

  16. I like to imagine some of the Senator’s faces when the proposal was made. I also like to imagine myself going up to them and saying “Why the long face?”

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