No success at sacrificing goats in the temple or in the stake center can compensate for a failure to sacrifice goats in the home.
Perhaps the goats are behind the nomenclature of our steak centers.
I’ve had goat–not bad–but goat steaks? I don’t think so, though I think you’re right about the goats and our stake centers. It has to do with the stakes to which goats are tethered so they won’t eat everything in sight. In other words I take the evidence of spelling to support my view.
“evidence of spelling”?
Is that why Nate’s spelling is so idiosyncratic? Is he just torturing the evidence?
“Is that why Nate’s spelling is so idiosyncratic? Is he just torturing the evidence?”
As long as he’s not torturing the goats…
And all this time I thought this nomenclature had to do with killing our goats with stakes–you know, as one would a vampire. Glad we got that straigtened out!
If Jim F. is right about the proper understanding of stakes and their relationship to goats, doesn’t that suggest that the “center” of the stake would be the place most accessible to the goats? If that’s right, doesn’t that suggest that the only thing to be found in a stake center is material that not even a goat could swallow? ;-)
I sure hope that I’m not the only one who, as a child, envisioned Sizzler when the Stake Center was mentioned. I was apparently very susceptible to TV commercials.
And as to whether or not I’ve eaten goat at Sizzler, only the cooks knew for sure.
Actually Randy, we may be sacrificing these goats because we suspect them with their cloven hooves… thus we pray for Zion to expand its stakes, thereby ensuring a more effective goat-killing tool.
Thus the new latin american nickname for the lds missionaries: los chupacabras!
Don’t laugh, Steve. I served in Puerto Rico, and tracted into the Chupacabra once.
Jeremy, was Mr. Chupacabra a Steak President?
OK… this isn’t that funny really. But I have a non-LDS friend I work with who is from New Zealand. When she came here to Utah she got some directions and was told at a certain point they would see a “stake center” and that she should then turn at the next street. She of course thought they meant “steak center” and drove on and on for many miles. She might still be driving in that direction to this day if there hadn’t been an LDS person in the car with her who was able to figure out what went wrong and explain things to her.
I’m not making this up.
Actually “chupacabra” or “goatsucker” is the name for a family of birds that include the whip-poor-will and nighthawks.
Since nighthawks (http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/i4200id.html) are common over much of the U.S.–they nest on flat gravel rooftops and you can often see them circling over supermarket parking lot lights at night–I hearby nominate the nighthawk as the official bird of American goat stakes.
Stakes elsewhere can choose their own official chupacabra–the Great Pootoo, a large cryptic brown-colored bird that spends all day trying to look like a dead branch (pun intended) might be a good choice for stakes in the American tropics.
Danithew, please revise your post to connect to either a) goats b) the Chupacabra or c) vampiric cult rites. T&S does not tolerate threadjacking!!
Steve,
You were right but I had forgotten to add the most important part of that story. As she drove out farther and farther from her intended destination, a herd of chupabracas descended on her car, pulled her out and danced the Macarena with her. It was horrifying because New Zealanders are notoriously allergic to chupabracas.
My mistake. The correct plural is not chupabracas but rather chupabracim (from the original Hebrew).
That’s better.
A whole herd of dancing Chupacabras?! It must have been the night of the Steak Youth Dance.
I’m only guessing but this has got to be one of the most ridiculous out-there threads of all time on this blog. All it’s missing is a really juice missive from Kingsley.
Danithew, need I remind you about the comment policy around here? Sure, Kingsley is often prone to making ridiculous comments, but suggesting that his comments are even more ludicrous than those on this thread simply crosses the line buddy. Cut it out, or I’ll turn you in to Kaimi!
And I’m sure Aaron Brown has a story involving goats that will get me to hornk juice through my nose.
American Tourist: Waiter, my knife is blunt and my steak is like leather.
English Waiter: I should strop the knife on the steak then, sir.
Ha ha! Ha … heh … hoo … oh …
greenfrog: If the stake center is the center where the stake is put and about which the goat circles, then what is within that circle is definitely what goats will eat. But, they will eat anything. So it doesn’t follow that it contains that which _not even_ a goat would swallow. I’d show you the Venn-Euhler diagram for that, but I can’t figure out how to insert overlapping circles in a response.
Danithew: I had a similar experience when I was studying with the missionaries. They told me that the meetings on the following Sunday would be at the “stake house” rather than the chapel. I, of course, heard “steak house.” On the one hand, I wasn’t quite sure what kind of church I’d joined. On the other, I was a little disappointed the next Sunday.
“And I’m sure Aaron Brown has a story involving goats that will get me to hornk juice through my nose.”
…at which point a couple of chupacabras will descend for a drink–they love sucking hornk juice.
agua de hornk?
After reading all these posts I’m feeling kind of hornky.
Steve,
“Agua de hornk” would be hornk water. Hornk juice is “jugo de hornk.”
Randy,
Did you mean turn me in to Kaimi or turn me into Kaimi? I just get confused sometimes.
Kaimi! Kaimi! Randy’s bothering me again!
Hey now, don’t make me stop the car and come back there, you two . . .
This one time, at the MTC, my companions and I took an enema, a goat, and a branch president, and then we ….
Aaron B
Danithew, come on, you know darn well that I have made a sacred covenant never to divulge, except at the appropriate place and time, my — alleged — powers to turn people into “Kaimi.” Then again, we haven’t heard from Brent in some time, don’t you think . . . .
Kaimi, what were you thinking? You know you should never bring up the subject of goats in the Bloggernacle. Look what happens!
“Randy” is a synonym for lust. Therefore, Randy is always evil.
C’mon Aaron B. No ellipsis allowed. I want to hear that story. :)
Bob C.,
The subject of sacrificing goats truthfully was asking for trouble … but bringing up words like chupabraca and hornky was enough to rip a major hole in the fabric of the Times and Seasons universe. Then there’s the whole stake/steak center thing.
And if that wasn’t already enough, Aaron B. shows up and mentions enemas. That’s done torn it again …
Danithew,
Lucky for you, your soul has been disabled. ;-)
Randy,
touche… hope you don’t mind me jokin’ around. :)
You both are a couple of hornky chupacabras. As WML my goal is to promote member-missionary ritualistic sacrifice. Perhaps you could offer some tips?
Danithew, don’t worry, if I were upset, you’d be Kaimi by now.
Hornk if you have been saved.
Steve,
I’m proud of you for wanting to promote member-missionary ritualistic sacrifice.
Though I was once WML some time ago I can’t currently recall the actual sacricial technique. But I learned some good cooking tips for goat ribs from watching Emeril.
With goat I’d avoid marinade and just use a good dry rub. Make sure to get both sides of the ribs. Then roast slowly over a hickory wood fire. Make sure to turn the meat occasionally. About halfway through the process you might want to begin brushing BBQ sauce onto the ribs. Serve on a platter. Delicious.
Marth Stewart had a recipe for goat giblets but it was much too complicated and I couldn’t ever get it to work.
As for the head, entrails, hide and feet… burn those up for the sacrifice part of it. Don’t forget to add salt before you burn them all.
No success at sacrificing goats in the temple or in the stake center can compensate for a failure to sacrifice goats in the home.
Perhaps the goats are behind the nomenclature of our steak centers.
I’ve had goat–not bad–but goat steaks? I don’t think so, though I think you’re right about the goats and our stake centers. It has to do with the stakes to which goats are tethered so they won’t eat everything in sight. In other words I take the evidence of spelling to support my view.
“evidence of spelling”?
Is that why Nate’s spelling is so idiosyncratic? Is he just torturing the evidence?
“Is that why Nate’s spelling is so idiosyncratic? Is he just torturing the evidence?”
As long as he’s not torturing the goats…
And all this time I thought this nomenclature had to do with killing our goats with stakes–you know, as one would a vampire. Glad we got that straigtened out!
If Jim F. is right about the proper understanding of stakes and their relationship to goats, doesn’t that suggest that the “center” of the stake would be the place most accessible to the goats? If that’s right, doesn’t that suggest that the only thing to be found in a stake center is material that not even a goat could swallow? ;-)
I sure hope that I’m not the only one who, as a child, envisioned Sizzler when the Stake Center was mentioned. I was apparently very susceptible to TV commercials.
And as to whether or not I’ve eaten goat at Sizzler, only the cooks knew for sure.
Actually Randy, we may be sacrificing these goats because we suspect them with their cloven hooves… thus we pray for Zion to expand its stakes, thereby ensuring a more effective goat-killing tool.
Thus the new latin american nickname for the lds missionaries: los chupacabras!
Don’t laugh, Steve. I served in Puerto Rico, and tracted into the Chupacabra once.
Jeremy, was Mr. Chupacabra a Steak President?
OK… this isn’t that funny really. But I have a non-LDS friend I work with who is from New Zealand. When she came here to Utah she got some directions and was told at a certain point they would see a “stake center” and that she should then turn at the next street. She of course thought they meant “steak center” and drove on and on for many miles. She might still be driving in that direction to this day if there hadn’t been an LDS person in the car with her who was able to figure out what went wrong and explain things to her.
I’m not making this up.
Actually “chupacabra” or “goatsucker” is the name for a family of birds that include the whip-poor-will and nighthawks.
Since nighthawks (http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/i4200id.html) are common over much of the U.S.–they nest on flat gravel rooftops and you can often see them circling over supermarket parking lot lights at night–I hearby nominate the nighthawk as the official bird of American goat stakes.
Stakes elsewhere can choose their own official chupacabra–the Great Pootoo, a large cryptic brown-colored bird that spends all day trying to look like a dead branch (pun intended) might be a good choice for stakes in the American tropics.
And for those in the know, blessed are the Poorwills (http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/i4180id.html).
Danithew, please revise your post to connect to either a) goats b) the Chupacabra or c) vampiric cult rites. T&S does not tolerate threadjacking!!
Steve,
You were right but I had forgotten to add the most important part of that story. As she drove out farther and farther from her intended destination, a herd of chupabracas descended on her car, pulled her out and danced the Macarena with her. It was horrifying because New Zealanders are notoriously allergic to chupabracas.
My mistake. The correct plural is not chupabracas but rather chupabracim (from the original Hebrew).
That’s better.
A whole herd of dancing Chupacabras?! It must have been the night of the Steak Youth Dance.
I’m only guessing but this has got to be one of the most ridiculous out-there threads of all time on this blog. All it’s missing is a really juice missive from Kingsley.
Danithew, need I remind you about the comment policy around here? Sure, Kingsley is often prone to making ridiculous comments, but suggesting that his comments are even more ludicrous than those on this thread simply crosses the line buddy. Cut it out, or I’ll turn you in to Kaimi!
And I’m sure Aaron Brown has a story involving goats that will get me to hornk juice through my nose.
American Tourist: Waiter, my knife is blunt and my steak is like leather.
English Waiter: I should strop the knife on the steak then, sir.
Ha ha! Ha … heh … hoo … oh …
greenfrog: If the stake center is the center where the stake is put and about which the goat circles, then what is within that circle is definitely what goats will eat. But, they will eat anything. So it doesn’t follow that it contains that which _not even_ a goat would swallow. I’d show you the Venn-Euhler diagram for that, but I can’t figure out how to insert overlapping circles in a response.
Danithew: I had a similar experience when I was studying with the missionaries. They told me that the meetings on the following Sunday would be at the “stake house” rather than the chapel. I, of course, heard “steak house.” On the one hand, I wasn’t quite sure what kind of church I’d joined. On the other, I was a little disappointed the next Sunday.
“And I’m sure Aaron Brown has a story involving goats that will get me to hornk juice through my nose.”
…at which point a couple of chupacabras will descend for a drink–they love sucking hornk juice.
agua de hornk?
After reading all these posts I’m feeling kind of hornky.
Steve,
“Agua de hornk” would be hornk water. Hornk juice is “jugo de hornk.”
Randy,
Did you mean turn me in to Kaimi or turn me into Kaimi? I just get confused sometimes.
Kaimi! Kaimi! Randy’s bothering me again!
Hey now, don’t make me stop the car and come back there, you two . . .
This one time, at the MTC, my companions and I took an enema, a goat, and a branch president, and then we ….
Aaron B
Danithew, come on, you know darn well that I have made a sacred covenant never to divulge, except at the appropriate place and time, my — alleged — powers to turn people into “Kaimi.” Then again, we haven’t heard from Brent in some time, don’t you think . . . .
Kaimi, what were you thinking? You know you should never bring up the subject of goats in the Bloggernacle. Look what happens!
“Randy” is a synonym for lust. Therefore, Randy is always evil.
C’mon Aaron B. No ellipsis allowed. I want to hear that story. :)
Bob C.,
The subject of sacrificing goats truthfully was asking for trouble … but bringing up words like chupabraca and hornky was enough to rip a major hole in the fabric of the Times and Seasons universe. Then there’s the whole stake/steak center thing.
And if that wasn’t already enough, Aaron B. shows up and mentions enemas. That’s done torn it again …
Danithew,
Lucky for you, your soul has been disabled. ;-)
Randy,
touche… hope you don’t mind me jokin’ around. :)
You both are a couple of hornky chupacabras. As WML my goal is to promote member-missionary ritualistic sacrifice. Perhaps you could offer some tips?
Danithew, don’t worry, if I were upset, you’d be Kaimi by now.
Hornk if you have been saved.
Steve,
I’m proud of you for wanting to promote member-missionary ritualistic sacrifice.
Though I was once WML some time ago I can’t currently recall the actual sacricial technique. But I learned some good cooking tips for goat ribs from watching Emeril.
With goat I’d avoid marinade and just use a good dry rub. Make sure to get both sides of the ribs. Then roast slowly over a hickory wood fire. Make sure to turn the meat occasionally. About halfway through the process you might want to begin brushing BBQ sauce onto the ribs. Serve on a platter. Delicious.
Marth Stewart had a recipe for goat giblets but it was much too complicated and I couldn’t ever get it to work.
As for the head, entrails, hide and feet… burn those up for the sacrifice part of it. Don’t forget to add salt before you burn them all.