Boston area Bloggernackers, save the date: you and your families are invited to a beach party/barbecue at my house Saturday, July 30 from mid-afternoon (2-3ish) until whenever. Dinner around 6. We have room for weekend guests, too, if anybody wants to drive up from NYC or down from Montreal, or as one intrepid bloggernaclite is doing, drive out from Idaho in a U-Haul! E-mail me (Kristine at timesandseasons dot org) for directions.
Kristine — Why even throw such a party when you KNOW that J.Stapley’s grunge-themed, Seattle bloggersnacker tomorrow evening is going to be sooooo much cooler than anything you East-Coast freaks could ever whip up?
DKL/AT had better be there. I wonder if he will read this given the fact that he is not welcome to post here.
DKL is coming–in fact, it was his whining (on M*) about the ills of living in Boston that prompted me to think I should help more people discover the wonders of the North Shore.
We NYC-area bloggernacers think it’s cute when our little brothers and sisters play at bloggersnackers. We really do.
Come on over here and condescend to my face, Davis Bell. I’ll make you whimper like the runt in the litter. Effete Easterner.
Better yet, Davis, see if you’re man enough to take the Chinatown bus up here and show us how the big kids do it!
And bring a date! I know there are quite a few smart, accomplished, and very attractive women in your ward, Davis, who would jump at the chance to accompany you to the party.
My two year old looks forward to beating down on DKL over any unfortunate word choices that he doesn’t immediately and sincerely take back!
Oh, I really wish I could come! Alas, I have a gig conducting a summer-stock production of Gypsy. I’m sure it will be splendid! (the party, I mean)
Kristine and the infamous Davis in one place: COUNT ME IN, if only to find out whether Davis is a real person or just a figment of the Blogosphere. Or to take my lickings for disappearance in one painful round. Kris, this isn’t the forum, but we just gotta catch up. Like, um, soon.
What a fabulous idea! I could call her up and say, “Hi there. I’m wondering if you would ride five hours on a urine-soaked bus to accompany me to a party filled with people I’ve met online.”
Don’t you ever, ever, ever, ever call me that name again. I am not an Easterner, sir, and never shall be. But I am effete; guilty as charged on that one.
I am real. I promise.
I’d love to make it, but can’t.
Never mind them, Aaron. They probably won’t even have cheese imported from Italy.
Too true, Kim. Yesterday’s Seattle Bloggersnacker will never be bested, and it seems to me Kristine & Co. should just throw in the towel and save themselves the inevitable humiliation.
Mmmmm… Italian cheese… One of the many highlights of the Seattle shindig.
Actually, Aaron, about 2 years ago, I imported a small dairy farm (and a few farmers, chefs, and artisan cheese makers) from the Italian Alps and set it up in my backyard. The first cheeses will be ready just in time for the party next weekend.
Yeah, Kristine, but will you have a cool grunge vibe at your beach-fest, and will you have Geoff J and J Stapley in drag, doing their best Liza and Barbara impressions, respectively? I don’t think so.
I rest my case.
Dear Sir or Madam:
I hearby RSVP to this Bloggernacle Beach Party. Please be warned: This means that I do plan to attend. My wife will accompany me (she’s one hot babe) as will my four daughters (angelic beauties all).
The Eminant Mormon
I won’t be able to attend, sorry. Have fun without me!
The Eminant Mormon would seem more eminent if he knew how to spell “eminent.”
But we don’t really know that that’s what he meant to say, do we? Perhaps he is actually misspelling emanant. . .
Thanks for the spelling tips, Aaron. Eminent though I may be, I’m a horrible speller.
I’m sorry to have caused you so much confusion, Kaimi. I hope this clarifies things for you.
What a fabulous party! Thank you so much for having us all. You have a beautiful home and were a wonderful hostess. It was a joy.
I found the following on the Yahoo! Most Viewed Stories feed:
Boston Area Beach Party Brings Mormons, Dissent to Harris Household
Swampscott, Ma – Bloggernacle luminaries flooded the beach in Swampscott, Massachusetts Saturday, July 30, declaring a “Bloggernacle Beach Party” before adjourning to the lovely home of Steve and Kristine Haglund Harris. There, as gracious hosts, Steve and Kristine treated their guests to dinner and dessert, while renowned Mormon feminist Melissa P. delighted and tantalized them with her sundry assortment of exotic, imported cheeses.
Distinguished guests came from as far as New York City, which is more than 2,100 miles from Utah. They included Mark, a Random John, Elisabeth, Travis, Mathew, Gigi, Steve & Sumer Evans, Melissa P., Heather, Matt Parks, DKL’s wife, and at least 10 children. DKL was rumored to have arrived uninvited and overstayed his welcome, but nobody went on record as having attended or stayed at a party where DKL was present.
Guests and hosts alike enjoyed discussions on a variety of topics, including mission stories, food, the law, Nate Oman’s facial hair, the joys of living in the northeast, children and child rearing, cheese, the ontological status of Adam Greenwood, lawyers, the Hebrew view of Satan, Jenn’s resurrected cat, chicks, areas of employment, Steve Evans’s and Elisabeth’s marathons, ward dynamics, and the virtues and pitfalls of blogging in the 21st century.
The Bloggernacle is a small group of internet weblogs created and maintained by “Mormonists,” members of a small Utah-based cult that eschews modern inventions like electricity and automobiles. It was founded by Joseph Smith III after an Angel named “Mormoni” appeared to him in the desert.
Question: What do South Beach, St. Tropez, and Gstaad, Switzerland have in common?
Answer: They all wish they could compete with Swampscott, MA when it comes to attracting cool, beautiful people and fabulous supermodels who want to party down.
New Orleans has Mardi Gras, Rio has Carnevale, and Boston’s beautiful north shore has the Bloggernacle beach bash and barbecue blowout. It was a knock ‘em down, drag ‘em out affair, and the Soiree in Swampscott, as it will come to be known, is the gold standard against which all other meet-ups will be evaluated.
Stephen and Kristine Harris opened their lovely home to a bunch of strangers and reprobates, and it turned out to be a wonderful evening. If their neighbors thought mormons were weird before, the Harrises now have even more explaining to do.
Here are a few highlights:
DKL is a great guy and a very funny man. In addition to knowing a lot about Bertrand Russell, he is also a devotee of redneck culture. He drives a 1969 Dodge Charger that is an exact replica of the General Lee, right down to the horn that plays Dixie. Mrs. DKL is a charming woman, and she looked absolutely smashing in her daisy dukes.
Travis and Elisabeth have combined our religious tradition of home production and storage with the tradition of Samuel Adams. They brought along samples of several recent batches, and everybody agreed that the honey wheat light was the best use we had ever seen for the grain, honey, and yeast in our basements.
Melissa, you totally rock, and I really enjoyed the time we spent chatting, so I hope you are not easily offended. We all agreed that something needs to be said, and I drew the short straw, so I’ll be as tactful as possible. Among adults of refinement, a rousing game of Twister! is generally considered NOT to be an appropriate social mixer. We went along because it was clear you had your heart set on it, but in the future, will it be OK if you leave your game at home? Many thanks!
A word to the wise: never, ever, ever, ever play a game of Texas hold ‘em with Sumer Evans, unless you want to lose a lot of money. You can’t bluff her, and she has a very intimidating presence at the table, especially when she is chomping on that cigar. She said she intends to invest her winnings in a crockpot.
Did you know that Mathew Parke has Tourette syndrome? Me neither, but when he accidentally dropped that plate of food on the carpet, he proved he belongs in the same religion as J. Golden Kimball. He can also do wacky Napoleon Dynamite impersonations.
Did I mention that the beach at Swampscott is clothing optional? Did I mention that Steve Evans has a couple of very interesting tattoos, in a couple of very interesting places?
Some people thought the karaoke contest was rigged, because Kristine won at her own party. But her realization of the Loretta Lynn classic “Don’t come home a’drinkin’, with lovin’ on your mind” was impressive, and technically flawless. I could have sworn I was listening to the coal miner’s daughter, and she sounded like she meant it, too!
If I said that we were out on the beach discharging firearms, dancing in a conga line, and howling at the moon until 2:00a.m. when the neighbors called the cops because of the noise and loud music, you would know that I was being untruthful. We are, after all, good, churchgoing folks.
It was really 3:00 a.m.
That’s all well and good, but you’re missing the important details. Was cheese served? If so, what kind? Inquiring minds want to know.
Cheese was served, Guarana was imbibed, hearts were warmed. A delight to all.
Kaimi: Melisaa brough (and cut) the cheese. Boursin, brie, gouda, some irish cheese and some triple creme.