And You Thought Good Mormons Could be Good Democrats…

I am all sure that you have been waiting in hideous agonies of suspense about the fate of the “National Day of the Horse” resolution that I refered to yesterday. I am sorry to report that it looks as though it may fall victim to the partisan bickering that too often stymies this kind of important legislation. My anonymous informant — known as Deepthroat to his wife and children — informs me this morning:

Now, for a brief update on the Equine Awareness Act (or “EAA,� as I’m sure it will be soon be nicknamed), it appears that the Democrats may have a problem with this bill, as it did not pass by unanimous consent yesterday. I spoke with the cloakroom this morning, and while the Republicans were happy to let it pass by unanimous consent, there may be a hold placed on it by one or more Democrats. (And, as you know, which individual Senator/s has placed a hold on any particular bill is something that is generally not disclosed by the cloakroom).

I do not know the reason for the Senatorial shenanigans, but here is my guess: the bill is both facially vague and unclear. After all, it simply says “horse.� It does not specify what type of horse—thoroughbred? Arabian? Steed? Rocking? It could apply to all of those, or none. Plus, there is almost no legislative history which would be of assistance to a court in discerning Congressional intent when it is called upon to interpret that all-encompassing and vague word, “horse.�

Another sticky thought—the bill completely ignores the significant contributions that horses have made to the glue industry. Now, I will admit that this is pure speculation, but I would guess that the Elmer’s lobbyists have contacted one of their Democrat puppets and forced them to place a hold on the bill. (After all, everyone knows that the Democrats are in the hip pockets of the glue industry).

All I can say, is that Kaimi, Kristine, Jim and other who blithely affirm that one can be a good Mormon and a good Democrat need to look deep into their souls and ask themselves whether this is the sort of thing that they can be associated with and still sleep with a clear conscience.

23 comments for “And You Thought Good Mormons Could be Good Democrats…

  1. Let’s not be hasty to put this squarely on corrupt Dems and the insidious glue lobby. Perhaps some Democratic Senators are taking a pincipled stand against discrimination. Is there an accompanying bill to recognize the day of the Cow? of the Ox? or of the Mule Deer? No? What a surprise.

    Besides, as Kaimi W. has suggested, horses were part of the conquistador advantage and might offend persons of indigenousness.

  2. I blame the mafia, since with newfound respect for the horse, they will not be able to decapitate them with impunity.

  3. I once supervised a study of the economic impact of the horse industry on the US economy (financed by the horse lobby). I was explicitly instructed to ignore horses’ contribution to the rendering (i.e. glue) industry.

    Yes, I’m serious.

  4. I always heard it that only bad Mormons could be good Democrats. But since I fit both descriptions, maybe I should just keep quiet.

  5. What happened to the camel? Or the elephant and it’s ancestor, the mastadon? More importantly, the dinosaur etc, or the king of them all, the primordial creatures that gave their all(they were so full of gas) so we could drive cars. Now that would be worth noting.
    Being from Alberta I propose that Congress pass a law creating an international holiday celebrating our benefactors.

  6. And what about the contribution of the horse to the entertainment industry? Sure the fan clubs of Trigger, Mr. Ed and Black Beauty (stage names) will rise up in arms and hold the Democratic leadership accountable for being “out of touch” with a core constituency? Perhaps this is just one more signal of the imminent realignment of the nation with a lasting Republican majority?

  7. I once heard Elder Sterling W. Sill tell the story of a race horse that kept winning races well past the years when he should have. When asked what the secret was, the jockey said he simply whispered poetry to the horse as they raced. When asked what kind of things he recited to the horse, the jockey replied with these lines:

    Roses are Red,
    Violets are Blue.
    Horses that lose
    Are turned into glue.

    Speaking as one who can see the beauty in horses and how one can enjoy them, but who himself does not enjoy them, I hope the “Day of the Horse” is repealed and that the EAA fails. If it looks like it will pass, I pray that at least some of the members of congress will have the sense (yea, even the horse sense) to philly-buster it.

    (I read the blog policy for comments and in no place is there any rule against a bad pun. If anyone has felt personally attacked by this, or just annoyed, I send my deepest apologies.)

  8. Now I understand those flyers in South Carolina that said the Democratic mascot is not really a donkey, but an infiltrating horse….ie a Trojan Horse. So Horse Day is just another May-Day Communist rip-off to destroy all things Holy.

  9. What’s an appropriate festive meal to celebrate the “Day of the Horse?” It would have to be something centered on some kind of meat that you don’t eat every day, so that it would be festive and distinct. In recognition of the Old World origins of the modern American horse, we might want to look at some main courses from, I don’t know, French cuisine? Horses have contributed in untold ways to such bold, masculine achievements as cattle roundups, cavalry charges, and riding off into the sunset, so fish, fowl, and rabbit are far too timid. The semiotics are all wrong. We need something like steak, but definintely not from cows. Can anyone think of some form of red meat that might best help us remember the millions of dead horses upon which this country was built? Something you could really sink your teeth into, with a flavor as strong as a stallion and as nourishing as mare’s milk, something that would remind you with every bite of wild palominos roaming wild and free among the buttes and mesas of the Southwest? Any ideas? Anybody?

  10. As if there were any question that “Horse Day is just another May-Day Communist rip-off,” now we’re supposed to celebrate by eating “French” cruisine. I think not!

  11. As if there were any doubt but that “Horse Day is just another May-Day Communist rip-off,” now we’re supposed to celebrate by eating “French” cuisine.” I think not!

  12. If the fact that we are supposed to celebrate Horse Day by eating “French cuisine” is not proof positive that this holiday “is just another May-Day Communist rip-off,” I don’t know what is!

  13. Nate,

    I can’t believe you’ve let your own partisan preferences blind you — this is a clear attempt by anti-Mormon forces to create a public focus on a common critique of the Book of Mormon. After all, the “day of the horse” can only be an attempt to make people think, “well, what if there were no horses in America in 100 B.C.? Then what would the Nephites have ridden on?” And they will join the Tanners in droves. (Ignoring the very reasonable possibility that the Nephites were riding _tame deer_ into battle).

    This alliance of Republicans and Tanners can only mean one thing — that every good Mormon should vote Democrat.

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